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Because I’m a girl….

I am an Indian girl…. You can stop reading now if you think it is one of those feminist rants… Well since you are still reading let me move on…. I’m an Indian girl and let’s face it life is difficult right from the time we are in our mother’s womb….. Every single day there is a new struggle and don’t even tell me that it’s any different for you…. When was the last time you wore a tank top on a hot day, just because it was too hot to be covered up, and felt secure?? When was the last time you sat at a public place and ate an ice candy without worrying men are visualising something else entirely?…. Dear guy-on-bus-who-cribbed-about-ladies-seats, I am against reservation too but if you would just stop groping us we would be quite comfortable standing next to you in a crowded bus… What do you think happened when I went home and told my parents I argued with a rickshawala for charging extra fare? I was told to keep quiet and not anger “these kind of men”… Why? Because I’m a girl….

No, I am not one of those women who wish “agle baar mohe bitiya na kijo”! I am perfectly happy to be born a girl but as I was growing up I often secretly wished I could swap lives with my brother just so I wouldn’t have to live up to archaic and jaded rules created thanks to the perversions of our fellow men…

Someone once told me women and men are not equal… All I have to say to that it is that some of us are not but that’s a choice you make for yourself…I wouldn’t say we are better, but pulling others down just because you can’t get up is what got us here in the first place…. I don’t blame men for all the problems Indian women suffer…I strongly feel women are each other’s worst enemies… If we see the stats, more than half the domestic abuse crimes in the country are perpetrated by the mother-in-law before the husband…. It’s a sad situation and an even bleaker future…

If I ever have a daughter I don’t want to have to teach her to be “submissive” and “take a step back”…I want to teach her to make herself heard, I want to teach her to stand up for what she believes in without fear who is standing up to her… But most of all I would want her not to have to look over her shoulder every time she steps out into the world… Before I do that I need to set an example & learn to stand up to all odds… Why? Because I’m a GIRL….

 
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Posted by on July 4, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

Thought behind the art

Disclaimer: This blog post is for believers; if you think tattoo’s are hogwash then you’d probably want to move on.

I have often been asked “Why would you get inked? It’s permanent”. After my first tattoo I repeatedly answered that question to everyone who saw the tattoo on my hand. My last tattoo was simply the phrase “Let it be” on my wrist. For me it’s more than a song, it’s a motto. Life is going to throw curveballs every now and then. To every problem there will be a right way to handle it. But hunting for a solution is not always the right way to deal with it. Sometimes you just have to let it be and the answer finds its way to you.

My second tattoo concept started off with a bundle of thoughts. I wanted to get something that ties in everything: my love for travel, finding the right directions in life, my parents and importantly a new relationship I’m about to embark upon. Of course, since I cant really draw I had a hard time explaining my thoughts and getting them down on paper. Thanks to Pramod (awesome colleague) the thoughts finally have a shape:

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At first glance the tattoo is primarily about travel (Which is my ultimate dream in life) but each element also has alternate meaning. The 8 point star, a symbol of direction stands for how my parents brought me up, absolute freedom to choose my life direction albeit with proper guidance along the way. And when my so called “perfect” choices fell flat, they were always there to lend a shoulder to cry on, pick up the pieces and show me how to move ahead. For that they are my compass.

The bird is a symbol of my flighty nature: the need to take off without much thought of the journey or the destination. At the other end is an anchor: one of the most important parts of a ship. The anchor is what keeps a ship from drifting, keeps it grounded. My nature is a paradox and the reason I am what I am is that I can keep myself grounded while being flighty.

While all this may sound far-fetched, I believe I have finally been able to bring out the elements that mattered the most to me in this tattoo.. Here’s to all those who matter; you will always be a part of me.

 
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Posted by on July 2, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

A Letter of Hope

Dear Men,

Today, being a woman in India embarrasses me. It’s gone a step beyond just fear, it’s now plain embarrassment. Not that all of you are at fault and responsible for this feeling, but don’t you think it’s time there was some change in the male attitude? Before you get on your high horses and tell me that I’m being an unreasonable feminist let me state that this letter is not for everyone and those who relate to it will perhaps understand the emotion.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, justifies rape! Not our tiny skirts, not our ability to hold a drink and certainly not our right to go out and have fun! (Dented and painted my ass)  But this letter is not about rape. It’s about where it all starts from: our homes. Answer this: Do you guys really respect us? Yes, I’m sure you love us, cherish us and want us forever, but do you respect us? You might demand respect from us but is it mutual? Let’s face it, we are not perfect. We don’t always look pretty; sometimes we want to dress in drab clothing and forget to do our hair. Sometimes we don’t want to cook for you, we just want to chill. Sometimes we just don’t want to go to the parlor and remember to wax our legs to perfection or have pretty eyebrows. We want to have an occasional drink, go out with our friends and behave like lunatics or even eat an entire bucket of KFC in the most non-aesthetic way possible. Does this make us any less of women? Some of you like comparing us to your mother’s; while at times we may take it as a compliment, other times it’s just a confidence killer.

While it may seem like I’m deviating from the gravity of the situation, I strongly believe that everything starts from the very basic. Why can’t we teach our sons that women are not meant to be objectified and treated as arm candy? We are your partners, better halves, sisters, mothers or even your gal pals. We are not here to make you happy; we want to, but that’s not what we are here for.

Your 2013 resolution should be to take some time out, reflect on what you can change within yourself. We may or may not impact what lawmakers do, but I think we can certainly change ourselves and the generations to come.

We still have faith in some of you. We want to be able tell our daughters that “Go out and have fun. You will be safe. We are sure.”

Regards,
The Women in your life

 
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Posted by on January 2, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Life Happens

When did we grow up? When did we go from caring about scraped knees to mending broken hearts? In this war of right v/s wrong, to-do v/s not-to-do, desire v/s duty, have we lost the will to just be ourselves?

There are questions; and then some more! Being a grown up includes being stuck in an endless maze of answer seeking, most of which remains a mystery till the end. Every morning we wake up with the good fortune of having lived another day; one agonizingly meaningless minute at a time. Tarot cards are contradictory; newspaper horoscopes more fictional than the comic strips they are printed next to. We tried logic and we prayed for magic, the answers still continue to elude. Growing up is not as cool as we thought it was when we played dress-up and all of us wanted to be the “Parents”.

However, there is something I read today that got me thinking, sometimes you need to stop doing that! Sometimes you have to stop analyzing the past, stop predicting the future, stop  seeking answers and just let life happen.

 
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Posted by on September 12, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Life is a Shampoo Aisle

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Ever stood in a supermarket shampoo aisle and spent time wondering which shampoo to buy? Yes sure, your mind tells you “Go for the trusty one you have been using for 10 years. Why change now?” while your heart tells you “Haven’t you seen the commercials? Be brave, try the new one that was created with modern technology“…..What do you usually do? Go with the good ol trusty one or try something new? And that my friends is the million dollar question. Frivolous as it may sound, Life is a Shampoo aisle! Its so easy to go for something that works “Just Fine”. Its the “New” that we don’t often reach out for. 

What’s important to note is that things don’t stop being difficult when the choice is made. What comes later is a tumultuous roller coaster ride that tends to make you feel like you’re falling off; a roller coaster by the name of ‘Consequence’. If choices at times are poor, Consequences rob you off the pocket change you have left. 

Does this mean you should forever live in your comfort zone? Definitely not; in fact its the bad, risky and novel choices that make you who you are. You and the consequences of your choices are stuck together; for better or for worse. And you know what? Even the worse is better than nothing. So go forth; do something stupid, eat that weird looking meat, wink at someone way out of your league….try the brand new Shampoo. 

 
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Posted by on July 25, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Small Joys

Happiness is often overrated. Some people are looking for violins playing in the background or a great epiphany to bring them to a happy moment. As for me, I find joy in the smaller things in life. What makes me happy? Here goes:

1.) Brand new shoes (I’m a girl! what do you expect?)

2.) Puppies (One of my very few regrets in life is that I could never have a puppy! Maybe someday)

3.) Writing. (While I may not be a great writer, it is my escape for the normality of this world)

4.) Beaches (I find nothing more beautiful than an endless deep blue sea and white sand beneath my feet)

5.) Birthdays (Not just mine! I love all birthdays. Its the one day a person gets to be treated special and I love doing that for others.)

6.) Cycling (This is one joy I cant explain. You need to experience it to know what I mean)

7.)  A good book

8.) Stuffed Toys (I dont think I can ever outgrow this fascination)

9.) Music (Instrumental Music to be precise. Trying to learn the flute. Lets see where that goes)

10.)  Malls (I just love them! I dont have to actually buy anything to enjoy a mall. There’s just so much vibrancy that you cant help but have fun)

11.) Video Game Arcade (Ever had a day bad enough to want to contemplate quitting? Next time go to an Arcade and play DDR. This game is designed to make people happy I guess. And the intense workout is an added bonus)

12.) Taking pictures (Happy faces. Sad faces. Grumpy faces. I love clicking them all. Why portraits? Because sometimes the camera sees whats behind a straight face and I like uncovering the great human mystery)

While these are a few things that make me happy, I realize that everyday brings something new worth smiling about.

 
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Posted by on March 31, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

The Journey Home

The road unknown,
The long walk home.
At cross roads I stand,
Blank map in my hand .
Blurred face I see then,
Says “Here’s a pen,”
Your path is your own,
The journey alone.
Draw out your route,
To the odds stick the boot.
In the circle of ease,
Have I lost my keys?
It isn’t easy to move on,
For this road is long.
This road unknown,
With its long walk home.

 

 
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Posted by on March 27, 2012 in Uncategorized

 
 
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